February 23, 2021

Life Lessons Learned About Jealousy

by Funmi

Being an entrepreneur is hard work, draining, and many times frustrating. Entrepreneurs live every day thinking of making ends meet, meeting their customers' demands, and making a profit.

Entrepreneurs face different challenges every day, but living in a country like Nigeria means living on a pedal of uncertainties. If you are not scared of losing your products to scam-artists, you will be scared of theft.

And, in most recent times, entrepreneurs are scared of dying before their time. This is the reality of many young Nigerians.… 

It is very painful to watch many younger talented Nigerians dehumanised for demanding justice about what happened in  Oct 20, 2020...the lekkintollgate massacre. There aren’t social amenities to make lives comfortable in Nigeria, still you have leaders making it harder for those who are already down.

People get away with atrocities cos it’s a matter of who knows who, I rub your back, you rub mine. Talking about this is just making me feel really sad. So there’s a latest cry for justice over the death of a beautiful promising female entrepreneur in Nigeria.

life lessons learned about jealousy

Sometime in 2020, a make-up artist with a promising future was deleted in cold blood for no reason. Truly, man's heart is wicked, and only the inner eyes can discern the evil thoughts in the hearts of men. 

When I heard about the death of Ijeoma Nweke, I was sad, troubled, and scared for entrepreneurs, especially ladies. Perhaps, you’ve not listened to the tragic news about the late ijeoma.

It’s alleged that Ijeoma was having an affair with the accused’s  boyfriend. She was invited for a make-up gig, and the innocent lady never returned. 

Thinking about the incident, I realize that anyone could have been a victim, just like Ijeoma. So I want to share some life lessons learned about jealousy from the tragic story with entrepreneurs, especially ladies, to learn from.

Beyond just learning how to stay cautious as an entrepreneur, there are other lessons to learn from this tragedy. 

1. Have a standard as an entrepreneur

As much as it is not wrong to travel out of your location for a job, you must take caution, especially in a country with a high crime rate like Nigeria. You should be cautious that many wolves in sheep’s clothing can come in clients' form. Be discerning and wise. 

Entrepreneurs are not the only victims of unfortunate situations; many job seekers are innocently lured to an interview and never return home. 

When you get a job offer, especially from clients outside your location, ensure that you are wise enough to take caution. Ask the client questions to get the full address and ask others around you if they know the address given to you. 

Due to the influx of social media on entrepreneurship, you may not have your client's full details. But, do not sleepover in your client's house when you travel to their towns or cities.

Avoid eating their food by buying yours. If possible, ensure that you don’t visit clients alone. 

2. Listen to your instinct

Obeying our intuition can save us from danger and evil many times. Neglecting our instincts may cost us a lot of things, including our lives.

In Ijeoma’s case, she knew that she was in danger, at least she sensed it, and she texted one of her close friends immediately. 

Despite sending the text, she was still murdered. Sometimes, it is okay to run away from danger, especially when you suddenly become unsettled.

Look for an opportunity to get away from the place or situation. 

3. Cultivate the habit of researching about a client before working for them

This is riding on the first point. Whether you are a makeover artist, a vixen, a cinematographer, whatever you are, ensure that you cultivate the habit of researching about a client or their company.

Thank God for our generation; you do not need to hire a spy before getting detailed information about a client or company.

With the help of Google, you can have full details about someone, their past relationship, crime, and even future goals, provided they have an account on one of the social media platforms. 

If you search on Google and do not find anything about them, you should suspect the client and take caution even when you decide to work with them. 

4. Jealousy kills and destroys lives 

It’s baffling that some ladies delete their partners for different reasons ranging from serial cheating to domestic violence.

As much as I do not support DV and infidelity in a relationship, I believe that leaving a relationship if you feel offended is better than committing a crime and being sent to jail. 

I understand that Chiamaka may have been pained that her boyfriend was dating another lady, but that is not enough to delete an innocent girl.

Sadly, poor Ijeoma might have been clueless that her boyfriend was dating someone else. Chiamaka allegedly deleted Ijeoma with the help of her brother. A quote says that “jealousy is a disease,” and it can wipe out a whole generation if not well treated.

We hear several gory stories of people mutilating their partners because of infidelity. I will always say, if you have issues with jealousy and insecurity, it’s best to get adequate help before your emotions lead you to commit a heinous crime.

life lessons learned about jealousy

5. Work on your self-worth and self-esteem 

See, I want to remind you that nobody will love you better than yourself. If you struggle to tell yourself you are beautiful or believe the best of you, you will most likely live a miserable life.

Your actions and accomplishments in life are a result of self-worth and self-esteem. How do you see yourself? Some ladies stick to their abusers and narcissist because they struggle to see who they truly are.

The beginning of your happiness is when you realize how worthy you are; if you continuously remain with a man who does not respect you, cheats on you, beats you, and lies to you, you should excuse yourself from the relationship.

If you have always found yourself saying that you cannot leave the relationship because you love him, you need deep innner work on your self worth and self esteem please.

One of my favorite quotes is, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

The truth is if a man truly loves you, he would not cheat on you. If a man respects you and has some value in your relationship, he will not cheat on you.

Another bitter truth is that if a man respects his wife, partner, and integrity, he will not cheat with you. Sometimes, we need to remind ourselves of the truth, a man who cheats with you will eventually cheat on you.

Rather than fight yourself, or live in delusion, get out there, develop capacity, divert the energy on some wealth creation, and capacity building. 

6. Avoid fighting over a man

If a man thinks highly of your relationship and wouldn’t want to lose you, he will not cheat on you.

Anytime you get tempted to fight other ladies because your boyfriend or husband is cheating on you, take a stroll, and remind yourself that you are a beautiful lady. Any man who finds you has found something special and valuable.

The culture of fighting with other women is toxic and unnecessary. save yourself some troubles, go on a vacation, go on a girl’s trip, spoil yourself silly, and get something doing with your life. 

7. Surround yourself with good people 

On the other hand, I feel that Chiamaka may not have been able to carry out the plan if her brother didn’t support her.

Although wicked people do not always need supporters before carrying their plans, a bad person with another bad person will only outlive evil deeds on a closer look.

Now, let’s flip the switch; what if Chiamaka’s brother was a good guy, and he spoke sense to her head even if she wanted to do evil?

Imagine if he called Ijeoma back to inform that the job was only to bait, Ijeoma will still be living, Chimaka will not be charged with murder, and she may eventually realize her self worth at the end of the day. 

But, look at what a bad influence caused. Even the Bible says that evil communication corrupts good manners. It is unwise to discuss with the wrong people.

If you know you are an angry person or a hateful person who always decides to avenge people who hurt you, you should do yourself the favor of having good friends around you. 

8. Find something doing with your life 

When I read through the internet, I saw so many beautiful stories about the late Ijeoma. She was described as a young lady full of life, calm, gentle, and hard-working.

Even though she was long gone, many people said great things about her as much as this point is not about the late Ijeoma but for the rest of us who are living. The best gift you can give yourself is to find something to do on earth.

If you think your partner does not treat you well, I will recommend that you get a job and stay committed to your job. Find purpose, chase after your dreams, and build capacity.

Final Thought

While the court is still handling the case of Ijeoma, I pray that we all remain safe and far from wicked people. I hope you have picked some life lessons learned about jealousy from this as well. 

About the author

Funmi

Funmi is Functional Health Coach. She is passionate about helping female entrepreneurs transform from Stress and burnout so they can begin to thrive in their body and by extension their businesses.

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