Knowing how to deal with toxic people around you could be the best thing you've ever done for yourself. These are those people who use their words as a weapon to attack you mentally, physically, and emotionally.
They can be difficult to deal with because they do not listen or care about what you say. It is important to remember that these people are insecure with themselves, and they lash out at those who can help them.
It is sad how people treat others this way, but there are things that you can do to protect yourself against these toxic people.
Having a good understanding of possible toxicity around you as an entrepreneur can save you avoidable headaches.
So, I will be addressing 7 No-Nonsense ways to deal with toxic people while maintaining your cool, of course.
Who are toxic people?
Toxic people are those who only drain you of life and energy, leaving you feeling drained and unhappy. They may not always be physically abusive but can be verbally abusive, ranging from insults to put-downs, accusations, blaming, shaming, or guilt-tripping. They can also use physical violence or threats of harm. I’ve categorised this into three, and I’ll be giving you steps on dealing with each category as well.
1. The Critics and Haters
The most perhaps stressful set of toxic people are the critics... It's easy to always express our dissatisfaction and anger to those above us. This is always an avenue for critics to do what they do best.
Most of them may be distant people who do not like you for absolutely no reason. They criticize the way you look, the way you dress, the man you're with, and they don't ever mind their business.
The worst thing that can ever happen to you is when you have one of such close by. They will only make your life miserable and a living hell. They have eyes everywhere and are just waiting for a misstep from you.
And if they can't find fault with you, they come up with one to hurl dirt and soil your personality.
How to deal with them?
1. Act blind to their efforts
Critics will always run their mouths no matter what. Since you don't own their mouth and their brains, you can't obviously control those two for them. The best answer to critics is to act like they don't exist.
It would help if you didn't even try to figure who your critics are. Don't care about what they say, what they do. Act like they're invisible. Act deaf and blind to their existence.
They don't deserve a split second of your time. The truth is, they're in the business of time-wasting. The moment they can't get in your schedule, they'd feel embarrassed and probably relent in their quest.
2. Create your own world
A successful person prioritizes her activities in terms of importance. A professional person has no time for crap. Toxic people are like the sky; you meet them everywhere you go.
They can't be avoided. The greatest solution is to Find a couple of goal-driven friends like yourself and form a team with them. Find successful people around you and team up with them. Accept the challenge of self-development, motivate yourself towards attaining your goals.
Have fun and leave your best life. You'd discover you have created a perfect world free of haters and critics.
3. Confront Them At The Right Time
Have you ever thought about challenging your critics for once? If you have, you will notice how cowardly they are. Critics are big cowards. They lack every bit of confidence and boldness you can ever imagine.
They can only mouth lash you from afar; they never get close enough to do so. They're probably afraid you're better than them or feel too insignificant about criticizing you. In a case where you seriously think you have to challenge your critics, you must prepare for it.
It would help if you took them by surprise, catch them unaware and hit your planned speech deep in their head. They're likely not going to get over it. That’s if that makes you feel good, but at the end of the day, you have to weigh if that confrontation is really worth it or not.
2. Gossipers and Busybodies
This set of people never mind their business. They are just like the critics, never shutting their mouths. Always discussing your mistakes, errors and mishaps in private. Unlike critics that are far away, they are close friends and people around you.
How do you deal with these people?
4. Don't let them get to your head
A lot of people go through different things. Their anger and frustration makes them loud and always lashing out at whoever they please.
They are always looking out for opportunities to transfer their aggression. It is not entirely their fault. Sometimes we need to overlook these things and get busy. We need to act like these things are not just there.
5. Be tough
If you are working towards being successful, you will also encounter toxic people who will retard your progress. One way of ensuring these people don't get close to you is when you put up a bold, tough and no-nonsense attitude.
What this means is that you need to be tough. It would help if you were principled and professional. This doesn't mean you should put up a rough, uncaring attitude towards others. That’s a NO, NO. By being tough, I mean you become a person loyal to your principles and learn the art of not taking BS from anyone.
3. Jealous And Envious People
Jealous and envious people are some of the most toxic and dangerous people you should avoid. Sometimes, they are mostly friends or people with who you are familiar.
It hurts them when you achieve some little success or make some little progress in your entrepreneurship journey.
All they want is to see you fail. Most times, they act like their true friends. They act as though they care when actually they don't. It's easy to spot these types of people.
They do all manner of things in your back but act like they're your supporters when they are around you. These people are dangerous and can go any length to prevent you from moving forward.
What to do about such people?
6. Move forward
Being zealous and challenged about good things is a good thing. It motivates us to work hard and be smart towards our goals. However, when hate and envy make you an obstacle to other people's progress, it becomes evil.
When you discover your friends are envious of you. Maybe it's time to move forward.
If you have people who pretend to be your friend but go around creating obstacles in your path, then be clear: That person is toxic, and you should (control D) such people from your circle.
Leave them and move on with your life. It would help if you steered clear of their path, and you don't need their permission to do so. And if you do, make it clear to them that you find their actions in your life unacceptable; hence you are moving on.
This is what the no-nonsense approach entails. You are building your life, career and business piece by piece. Anyone who is not contributing to your success in any way doesn't deserve a place in your life.
7. Become More and More Successful
The most exciting way to shut your critics' mouths up, to make them bury their heads in their hands shamefully, is to become more successful. It's a beautiful thing to see those who plot your downfall see you at the top.
They are left with two options now. It's either the makeup for their ignorance, or they give up and back out completely.
This means you should double your effort, pursue your goal more than ever, be resilient, not for them but your own self-actualisation. And it can, in a way, show your critics they got it all wrong right from the beginning.
Signs you are dealing with a toxic person?
The most obvious sign will be if they make your life hell by constantly criticising every move you make or making it their personal mission to make sure they kick your mental health down as much as physically possible. They may also insult you; they will put you down for everything from your job to your relationship choices. These people are toxic because they have a lot of problems in their life and instead of facing them themselves, they will lash out at others to ease their own minds.
Why are people toxic?
This is a difficult question to answer because the reason people are toxic varies. People become toxic for many different reasons. They may have their own personal insecurities, struggle with mental health issues, or have experienced trauma in their lives. However, this does not change how they behave to others. Toxic people are a difficult problem to deal with, but there are some things you can do.
1. First and foremost, you have to remember that these toxic people have many problems that they need to work out on their own. You cannot help them or fix them as much as they would like you to. It is important to remember that they cannot be fixed until they want to fix them themselves.
2. Also, do not engage with these people as much as possible because this could lead you into an endless loop of insults that will not end for a while. You can try blocking their number or avoiding going places where they may be. You can also explain to them that you do not want to engage with them at this time.
3. Remember, these people are toxic because they have anger and frustration inside of them that needs to be released somehow. Try having a positive outlet for your energy, so you don't transfer it into negative emotions like sadness or depression.
4. If you are dealing with a toxic person at work, you can ask your coworker to be moved to another shift or room because the toxicity of these people can hurt not only yourself but also those around you.
5. It is important to remember that no one deserves this treatment, and if someone is behaving in this way, there is probably something they themselves are dealing with. They may lash out at others to make them feel better about their own situation.
6. Some of these people may be dangerous, so you need to inform yourself how to stay safe around toxic people. Teaching your child these things could save them from mental and physical trauma in the future.
Final Thought on how to deal with toxic people
As difficult as it may be, you need to remember that toxic people are only your enemy because they have their own problems. They lash out at others because no one else will give them the attention or validation they crave.
It is important to consider what makes these people toxic and not become influenced by this behaviour yourself. You should also try avoiding engaging with these types of people altogether if possible for both your sake and theirs.
If someone is particularly harmful, you can also consider ways to make yourself feel safer around them. Lastly, remember being successful doesn't mean you're free from toxic people for life.
Always remember, "In every new level, there's always a new devil." there is a silver lining with toxic people: you will have a great story to tell if you successfully cross them out of your life for good! Stay safe.
Hope you found this article helpful; let me know what you think in the comments!