Happiness is not just a fleeting feeling but rather something that can be cultivated, and your relationship with yourself is one of the most important ways to do so.

In the past few decades, we have seen a rise in mental disorders and unhappiness. Depression alone has risen from 4% of the population to nearly 10%.

Many people will argue that it is simply because our society is getting more materialistic, but this does not seem to be the case.

In fact, research shows that as countries get richer and standards of living increase, rates of depression actually go up. This means that happiness cannot be bought with money or possessions--rather, it must come from within you.

And luckily for us all, there are many things you can do to cultivate happiness in your life today! This article will cover ways you can make sure that your relationship with yourself is working to its fullest capacity.


The difference between happiness and pleasure

Happiness comes from what you do, while pleasure comes from what you feel.

Studies have shown that the happiest people are not necessarily those who feel the best throughout their lives--it is, in fact, those with a goal or purpose in life. This means that it is important to find something bigger than yourself and also set goals for yourself in life.

Your happiness is not dependent on your circumstances. For example, the most miserable 5% of people had more positive emotions when they were asked to think back on a time when they had no money than a rich person did thinking about being poor.

Rather, it is up to you to control what you feel and cultivate happiness in your life.

This is not always an easy task to take on--and that's why you need to care for yourself. If you are unhappy, the best thing you can do for yourself today is to start taking better care of your body and health-not just so that you can feel good at the moment but to help you feel good in the future.

By taking care of yourself now, you are also making it more likely to continue to take care of your well-being later on in life.


How to cultivate a personal connection with yourself

One of the most important activities to achieve happiness is cultivating a personal connection with yourself. This means taking time for yourself, improving your self-care habits, and learning what makes you happy. Here are 6 top tips for cultivating this sense of happiness within yourself:


Tip 1: Treat your body better

If you are unhappy with your physical health, it can be very difficult to feel good about anything else--such as your happiness. This is why it is so important that you learn how to treat yourself better by taking care of your body through exercise and healthy eating.


Tip 2: Practice self-care

One thing that makes people unhappy is the feeling of being overwhelmed--and this comes from putting everyone else's needs before your own. It can be difficult for you to take care of others when you haven't taken care of yourself because then you do not have the energy and focus on positively helping them. Try to set aside time in your day just for you to do something that makes you happy, whether it is reading a book, doing some small craft project, or even just taking a nap.


Tip 3: Do what you love

When people pursue things that they love doing, it does not seem like work at all. The best way to feel good about life is to spend time doing something you are passionate about, whether developing your own hobbies or focusing on a career. Put, if you are unhappy with what you are doing--it is incredibly difficult to be happy in life.


Tip 4: Reflect on the good things

We all have problems, and that's completely normal. However, what makes humans so special is that we have the ability to reflect on our lives and see what good things we have done. Some people find it helpful to keep a gratitude journal, where they take the time to write down three good things from each day.


Tip 5: Find positive people

When negative people surround you, it may make it more difficult to appreciate the good in life. If you find yourself surrounded by people who always complain and never try to improve their lives, you risk giving in to this 'negative way of thinking and could also end up feeling unhappy. Instead, make an effort to surround yourself with positive people who inspire you and motivate you that way, you can help each other continue to grow and be happy.


Tip 6: Take the time to appreciate the little things

We are so busy with our lives that it is easy to get caught up in daily stressors. However, many people don't realize that tons of little things in life make us happy. For example, you may love relaxing in a hot bubble bath or eating your favourite kind of chocolate chip cookie-but only if you take the time to slow down and experience these good things for what they really are.


What to stop doing if you are unhappy

There are many things that unhappy people do daily that prevent them from being happy. Here are five common habits that can easily be changed for the better:


Habit 1: Stop worrying about other people

It is easy to get caught up in processes and drama, but this sort of thing gets nobody anywhere. Instead of worrying about other people, make it a point to focus on your own needs and what makes you happy-that way; you will be less likely to get caught up in other people's problems because you have worked hard to improve yourself.


Habit 2: Stop complaining

When we complain about things, we typically leave ourselves with a bad taste in our mouths. We focus on the negative things rather than being grateful for all of the positive moments within a day. This is exactly what causes people to become unhappy.


Habit 3: Stop focusing on things you can't control

Rather than worrying about how other people feel, what other people are doing, or what could have been different, focus on the things that you can change. Rather than worrying about what other people are thinking, get out there and show them your skills, so they become aware of how much you have to offer!


Habit 4: Stop being negative

We all know someone who is constantly telling negative stories or trying to find the worst in everything. If this sounds like you, try to change your way of thinking rather than focusing on what you don't have; work on being grateful for what you do have.


Habit 5: Stop thinking things are always going to be bad

Many people look at the future and assume that nothing good will ever happen to them. This is a truly negative way of thinking, and it prevents you from being happy at the present moment because your mind is so focused on what could go wrong next. To be more positive, try looking at the future as a way to look forward to new things rather than worrying about what could go wrong.


3 Key things to focus on:

The way you think

The way we think can impact our daily lives and even how we behave, but we often overlook its importance because it is easy to blame external factors for our problems and unhappiness.

top blaming other people and things, and start taking responsibility for the way you act.


The way you act

People tend to do what they will get away with-for example, if they are constantly treated poorly daily, they learn that this is 'normal' and become used to it.

On the other end of the spectrum, if people are treated well all of the time, they will surely give back to others.

Try being kind and compassionate with everyone you meet today, and see how it makes a difference in your life as well as theirs!


The way you treat yourself

Many people beat themselves up for their mistakes or even just the things that don't go exactly as planned.

For example, if you put on five pounds, rather than becoming upset with yourself and immediately trying to lose the weight again, learn from this experience so you can fix it in the future.

Unhappy people often look for things outside of themselves; for example, they focus too much on what others think or are stressed out about what could go wrong.

Instead of worrying about all of these things that you can't control, please focus on the three areas listed above and see how it changes your life for the better!

By focusing on yourself and cultivating happiness within yourself, you will gain more fulfilment in life and enjoy every moment with a positive mindset!


How to choose happiness over everything

1. Relax and catch some fun

Truth be told, productive activities are boring and energy demanding." As much as you work very hard and chase after success, you should find time to relax and catch some fun. There's a time for everything. There's a time to work hard and a time to be lazy a bit. 

It goes a long way in helping you relax and staying happy. You could go on vacations with your spouse, go out with your family etc. 

You could take some time to travel the globe, visit places you've always dreamed about, experience new things, taste new cultures, eat new meals and so on. 

Now I know we can't all go on vacation, but you can still do some things about vacation during lockdown - I call it PLANCATION! So here’s the deal, have a place you would have travelled to if not for covid, then do one of these options or both -

  1. Start learning the language - the basics so that when you finally travel, you might not really need an interpreter.
  2. Research the best cuisine of that place, google the recipe and try to cook at home ( lol, two things can happen, its taste amazeballs or otherwise….but regardless of the outcome, enjoy the experience!)


2. Don't Expect Much From Others. 

As entrepreneurs and in life generally, we are forced to meet people we form emotional connections with. We build relationships, make friends and even fall in love. 

When we have high expectations from others, it's most likely we end up disappointed or heartbroken. 

It doesn't matter who these people are or what they've done to you in the past. Don't just expect more than what people can give.

 As a matter of fact, don't expect anything from anyone. Do your thing. Mind your business and stay happy. 


3. Spend More Time Doing What You Love

Spending time on what makes you happy is a form of productiveness. 

We all have something we love doing, something that brings inner pleasure, peace and gratification. Something we can do the rest of our lives without getting bored. 

Whatever it is, you need to figure it out because it is your source of genuine happiness. 

Let's put it this way, "you owe yourself happiness, and you should pay anything for it," Nothing should be too much to sacrifice for your own happiness. 


4. Be Spiritually Inclined 

This isn't a God-devil debate. This is just a call to something higher, something inspiring. Connecting to a higher form of energy is a source of everlasting happiness. And for me, it’s GOD in heaven! 

I don't know what your faith is; mine is Christianity. I believe we are spirit being; we possess a body and have a soul. When the spiritual aspect of our life is lacking, we will always feel out of balance.

We’ve got to always connect to our maker - God in every way possible to feel grounded. 

How does this affect your professional life as an entrepreneur? Spiritual practices help you see life differently. It helps broaden your perspective and improve your relationship with others.

However, this may sound, connecting with God as a daily ritual helps us live carefully and uprightly. It ensures we find satisfaction, happiness and peace in everything we do. 


5. Exercise Your Body

"A physically fit person is highly confident." Nothing brings more confidence than having an attractive physical shape. 

A popular female fitness coach in New Jersey once said, "6 women out of ten desperately crave for an attractive body; it has a way of making them feel complete."

If improving your physical shape brings confidence and happiness, then you should enrol on workout sessions.

Set body goals, achieve them and boost your confidence, happiness and satisfaction will be a result. 


Deeper Dive:

7 key Inspirations For When You Feel Lost In Life

How to Deal With Toxic People for Good in 7 Ways

7 SIGNS YOU ARE BEING MANIPULATED


6. Exercise Your Mind

If you exercise your body, you should exercise your mind as well. According to the Holy Bible, "from the mind, comes the affairs of life." What this means is that everything around you flows through your mind. 

Your mind is the centre of everything that happens around you. Your thoughts, actions flow from your mind. 

Stress, negative thoughts, failure, success are a product of your mind. You can't have negative thoughts controlling your mind and expect to be happy. 

To stay happy, you must allow only positive energy to flow through your mind. 

Thankfully, you can program your mind to be full of happiness by 

  • Meditating 
  • Reading Books 

Books have long-lasting, positive impacts on the mind. Books are not just sources of knowledge.

Reading positive books can help you build conviction and shape your mind and also inspire happiness.


7. Love Someone 

Being successful isn't all about hitting milestones and making progress in your career. It means having satisfaction from all areas of your life, and that includes your relationship.

Love is probably the most controversial topic in the world. Nevertheless, happiness can be found in true, genuine love. 

These days, it isn't easy to find true love. This doesn't mean true love doesn't exist... 

If you have fallen for the notion that love doesn't exist anymore, then you're clearly mistaken. 

This perspective can hinder you from finding love. Finding true love starts with being positive and having a proper mindset about love. 

The fact remains, "If you find a genuine lover, you have found happiness."


8. Mind Your Business 

Simple, short and concise. If you want to be happy, you need to start minding your business. You can't be everywhere. You can't mind other people's businesses either. 

Getting preoccupied with so many things doesn't help. Mindfulness means focusing your time and energy on the things that make you happy. Mindfulness makes you bear lesser burdens and relieves you of stress.

Instead of being a busybody, spend more time finding ways to stay happy. 

Sometimes, all you need is a moment of solitude. A moment to think, relax and breathe. You can't have these moments if you are preoccupied with other people's problems. 

how to be happy

A final thought on Maximising Your Happiness

Achieving happiness is not just an elusive feeling that comes and goes, but rather something within reach if you're willing to work for it.

Whether your goals are big or small--whether they have to do with how you feel about yourself, the world around you, Whether it's finding time to be alone, exercising your body and mind in tandem, investing in a fulfilling relationship, cultivating mindfulness through meditation or reading positive books - the key is working towards what makes you happy!

Let me know which of these techniques has worked best for maximising your own personal sense of contentment. I'd love to hear from you so I can continue providing helpful content like this one.

Share your thoughts and opinions in the comments section below!


More Resources

The Science of Happiness in Positive Psychology 101

5 reliable findings from happiness research


About the Author

Funmi is a Certified Functional Health Coach. She is passionate about helping female entrepreneurs transform from Stress and burnout so they can begin to thrive in their body and, by extension, their businesses.

{"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}

Find us Here


  • funmi@soldonwellness.com

>